July 3, 2008
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PAPA Fest Reflections
B"H
Trying to break an old habit
No, I’m not an alcoholic, but I do seem to have a problem with whine. Although I very much believe to the contrary, more often than not, I seem to complain and whine, rather than taking the high road of acceptance and transcendence. As many of my dear friends know, both here in cyberspace and in real life, I generally feel conflicted in that I think and speak of one reality and yet live in a different world entirely. For a variety of reasons, I am often scattered in my thoughts and words. The talk I gave at the recent PAPA Fest was no exception.
Originally I had a fairly detailed outline prepared of what I wanted to present. As things developed, which I have already mentioned, I sort of became confused about what I was doing and eventually relied on my ability to speak extemporaneously. In other words, I had a few scattered notes on a page, but mostly I didn’t follow that either. There’s a plus and a minus to this type of presentation I think. On the one hand, it’s fresh and potentially new. In my case, neither the hearers nor the speaker had a heads-up on what was coming next. The negative aspect of this is that in not being more formally organized, there are many things I left out which I wish I had included.
Having said all this, I request that my readers here pray for me in two specific ways. First, that I would take my own advice and learn to practice trusting the LORD and stop whining about my circumstances in life. Second, that I would get over being lazy and take my work more seriously in terms of writing and communicating the things the LORD has taught me.
The PAPA Fest is purposely different from most of the other festivals in several ways.
First and foremost, it is smaller by design. (Although the planners wanted to cap the event at 1000, I think that if we had 800 we could have easily accomodated 1500.) The smaller size, in terms of attendance, makes for a much more intimate event. There was also only one stage for the music groups and that was both good and bad. It was bad in that with more venues, then more groups/bands could perform. On the other hand, since almost everything was being presented outdoors, if there were another stage I think it would have created some sound conflict issues. In fact, at one point a bunch of drummers started a session in a central area, and it was hard to hear and hold a conversation anywhere around there until the drummers were done. The smaller numbers make it easier to meet people and make meaningful connections. When the group is very large, like at Cornerstone, then the sense of family and community is harder to establish.
Secondly, the general feel of the PAPA Fest is different in that the vast majority of people are in their 20's and 30's and not necessarily connected to particular church groups. While there are an increasing number of community groups participating, the lone individual or family unit was by no means the exception to the rule. There's a whole bunch of people in our country right now who are sort of searching for a new way of being a disciple of Jesus. They are too young to remember the Jesus Movement of the 60's and 70's and there are new issues present this time around which make the current happening unique.
Here’s a quote from a link on David Swanson’s site, Signs of Life, which he took from the Young Anabaptist Radicals, and it appears it originated here,
“In case it hasn’t become obvious from my description, PAPA festival serves as the unofficial convergence space for the New Monasticism movement. The movement is gradually coming of age and the number of kids running around was one concrete manifestation of that. There were at least 70 kids running around and hanging out in the Children’s village. Their presence alongside many dreadlocked heads contributed to a carnivalesque collision of counterculture and family friendly feeling." - Tim Nafziger
Although Penninah and I had to leave early due to a prior commitment back home, we still had a great time.
I want to send a special shout-out to Mark and Amy Van Steenwyk and Casey and Marty, and Dave of the Missio Dei community in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area. On Thursday evening we followed the sounds of their singing and guitar playing like ones enchanted by the melodies of the Pied Piper. We drifted into their campsite and shared stories and fellowship until nearly 11 PM. The next evening we returned with challah, grape juice, candles and a Siddur to share the start of the Sabbath with a kiddush ceremony. Our new found friends were very gracious in sharing time and food and fellowship. We hope to take a trip, perhaps as soon as August, to visit their neighborhood and partake in their ministry at home.
Blessings,
Shlomo
Comments (5)
I found your whine comment cute and humourous.
How are you friend? You can email us anytime at himmelfeuer@hotmail.com or haukeschmidt@directbox.com
Peace, love, and all that which is good upon you and yours!
-Shanny
B"H
Hey Shanny & Hauke,
Thanks for your kindness and friendship. I hope to soon be able to accept your friend request. In the meantime I have been able to read your posts because I get a digest e-mail as a subscriber. I can't leave any comments there, but I still get to see the cute pictures of the boys and Hauke looking cool. GOD's blessing on you all.
Shlomo
Hey bro!
I thought I would check in with you. Anyway I have had to struggle through some of the same issues you have. I have known for sometime that I can "wing" it on some things. At times it is a gift and other times it almost seems like I am being dishonest. There have been many times where I havent prepared like I should and yet still events/speaking and teaching engagements have gone really well. Thank the Lord for that! But because of this I have often used it as an excuse not to diligently prepare. I always had a fear that somehow this would be found out.
Ever since I have become a pastor I have now found a new freedom in preparation. I know it sounds crazy but I now feel more free to "expound" or go on "rabbit trails" because I know I have done the necessary prep. Its weird. I used to get really nervous about getting off subject or just winging it. But now because I am prepared it seems as if my mind is much more sharper therefore I am ready to go on a "journey" if necessary while I am teaching/preaching/ speaking.
I know it sounds crazy but I tell you bro it has been awesome! Prep is worth it so that you can stand before your audience with integrity and not fear loosing track because you know you have taken the necessary steps and honored your audience by being diligent. I think then we are more than willing to "let the Spirit lead" because we know we have been diligent and God is honoring it. I know it sounds repititous but I hope you get something out of the chaos that I just wrote.
Hey bro I feel you man and I appreciate your honesty. The cool thing is that God is using us in spite of some of our inconsistency. Be blessed bro!
Aaron
B"H
Hey Aaron,
Thanks so much for taking the time and effort to share those thoughts. I really appreciate it. I know that not all of life is a matter of "cause and effect," but in my natural thinking it is. The fear of being "found out" has plagued me on more than one occasion. I know that the LORD has gifted me to speak on certain topics, but as you have stated, that doesn't negate the fact that I should still do my best to prepare. I long to speak more regularly and even to have a ministry using the things that I have learned these 35 years walking with the LORD. I often feel that because I haven't "proven myself worthy," that's why I'm still stuck in my secular job, pining away, while others, usually much younger and with far less knowledge and experience are busy about the Master's Work in the Kingdom. Not to worry though, I know that the LORD has a plan for me and that He is not vindictive. All the things I have suffered have been for a purpose and I just hope to stop whining and be more diligent from here on out.
Thanks for the words of encouragement Aaron. You're a good brother. I hope that we can continue to fellowship here in cyberspace and maybe even meet up someday, IRL.
Shlomo
Good word, Aaron!
Good to see you over here on Xanga, too!